Rejection and Self-Care
When your friends blow you off, it can hurt. If you are highly sensitive, it may feel nearly impossible not to take it personally. Don Miguel Ruiz tells us to take nothing personally because “nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind: they live in a completely different world from the world we live in.”
But let’s be honest, there are times when It is not so easy to simply shift our perspective. We are emotional beings, and if we are highly sensitive, we feel things deeply. These feelings are not something to simply transcend. As embodied souls, we are here to embrace and process these emotions through our system without judgment or resistance.
Given that reality, how do we handle it when people are unkind, rejecting, thoughtless or indifferent:
- That you are a Divine soul. That you are not more or less significant because of how other’s behave.You are Divine and you matter. See yourself and honor yourself with loving compassion.
- Practice impeccable self-compassion. Breathe and open your heart when your feelings are hurt. Honor whatever is present emotionally. Don’t stuff, minimize or intellectualize your emotions away. Breathe and witness your feelings with kind attentiveness. Ride the wave. Listen to what your emotions are telling you, as you witness without joining into the story emerging through the intensity.
- Be real. When you you can do so safely with the individual who may have triggered your pain; speak directly about what hurts or what you need. Identify how you may have taken something personally and see if the other person is available to listen to you with empathy and validate your experience (even if they don’t agree). Don’t blame; take responsibility for your feelings and perceptions. Speak from your heart about what you need. And then listen to their experience too without reacting or judgment. Seek to understand yourself and the other. This can deepen your connection.
- Ask for what you need. Ask those you trust for what you need. Give it to yourself first. But include asking friends and loved ones to listen, celebrate or engage in meaningful activities with you. Don’t hope people will figure you out or just show up.
- Set Boundaries. Let go of “people pleasing at your expense”. Say “yes” and “no” when you mean it. Do this in all your relationships. Notice the power, your self-esteem and respect grow.
- Give what you want to receive. Give kindness freely without expectations. Give it to yourself and others. Show up. Listen deeply. Offer respect. Be on time. Honor your commitments. Be the friend you want to have. And when others aren’t treating you well; let them go.
- Practice Conscious Creation and Ho’oponopono. Make amends within a state of higher consciousness, through your loving heart. Radiate forgiveness and compassion because when people are acting hurtfully, they are showing you their suffering. They are showing you an aspect of your unhealed shadow. And your conscious focus on loving awareness and healing can transmute this energy into a state of neutrality and shift the direction of your creative path.
Remember that we are living in a dream. That means it is a reality that is manifested through energetic patterns. And that people live in their own story. Most of our reality is created unconsciously and appears to us as fate. But you can create a reality that reflects your highest truth and core essence. Learn how to do this. Spend time each day in meditation, radiating loving light to yourself and into the world. Send light to your community, family and friends. Bless them all with all that you too desire and see yourselves and them experience these blessings robustly.
You deserve to be treated kindly, respectfully and compassionately. You are worthy of all that is good.
May you feel the bliss of divinity radiating throughout your mind, body and spirit abundantly and consistently. May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu.