Grief is natural and it can change you.
Our culture denies and minimizes grief and how it impacts the individual. Friends and family may grow weary of the grieving person, expecting them to behave as they always have or snap out of their suffering.
You may not know how to be with your grief either. But you can find your way through.
Compounded grief is especially intense because it can happen when you lose a relationship, then a loved one, then a job or a way of working, then a pet, then experience a natural disaster, then a home, then another loved one.
I am experiencing compounded grief.
You may be too.
Healthcare professionals, grief counselors, trauma survivors, veterans and the elderly are especially vulnerable to compounded grief, but anyone can be impacted by this pronounced and complex grieving experience.
When you are grieving or experiencing compounded grief, take your time, be gentle with yourself, and get quality support. Give yourself permission and space to face each loss on its own. Express your grief without apology, in safe spaces. Uplevel your self-care with deliberate focus and be open to trying new ways of healing through grief.
Holding space for the grieving, especially those experiencing compounded grief is an art. It can touch on our own unhealed losses and traumas. When we can be with ourselves or another through this journey, we offer a sacred treasure that will have lasting positive impact.
If you are grieving and/or experiencing complex, compounded grief this journey may be uncomfortable, but it is sacred and deserves to be honored. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with those who can hold space for you, for as long as you need. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be available to life as you were before. Don’t buy into the toxic myths that you should be doing or being any certain way or a good friend to others, avoid the topic or be distracted when you’re processing grief.
YOU can discover beauty and power through your journey, but not by holding those expectations. Be gentle with the internalized fear and shame you may hold around grieving. Discover your kindness, compassionate care, curiosity, despair, anger, sorrow, bitterness, love, needs, wants….and discover yourself.
…with love, love, love as your guide.